It's probably no secret that I'm a Netflix addict. While books will always be my first love, I just can't help but enjoy having literally thousands of movies and TV shows at my fingertips.
While Netflix has been in some hot water recently with its consumer base, I'm too hooked to drop it like a bad habit. However, I do have some suggestions that I would like to see implemented. So, if any of you lovely people reading this are big wigs at Netflix, take note.
What I Would Do If I Were Supreme Ruler of Netflix
1) Do away with movies by mail.
Can we just make every-single-freaking-movie-ever-in-existance available on Instant Watch? I know that this is a tall order, but it would certainly make things much easier.
2) The ability to split one account into multiple ques.
This is imperative. While Kyle and I have a lot of things in common, movie tastes just typically isn't one of them. For example, these are the movies that Kyle put in our que recently: Terminator, the short-lived '80s cartoon Street Sharks, and Pirates of Penzance. (He obviously has very diverse tastes.) I'm more partial to Overboard, Frasier, and Guess Who's Coming to Dinner. Wouldn't be great if we could just have our own ques so that I don't have to deal with suggestions like, "Since you enjoyed Terminator so much, would you also like to watch Twins?" Answer: No. No, I would not.
3) Netflix for (not)smart phones.
Turns out, there's not an app for that. My phone is ancient, and is definitely not app-compatible. I'm actually totally ok with this (technology stresses me out), but that doesn't mean I wouldn't love to be able to watch The X-Files on my lunch break. So come on all you techo-wizards! Invent a way for me to watch Netflix on my 2009 LG enV phone.
4) Create a reward/points system to unlock cool features.
You've just finished watching your favorite episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, and you're just dying to listen to a commentary from Captain Picard Patrick Stewart. But, whaaa? There's no special features option? But you're a loyal Netflix customer! You want perks! Here's where my rewards system comes in. The more you watch, the more you unlock: Special features, commentary, bonus episodes! It's like a surprise every time you log in!
5) And last, but certainly not least, add these shows:
+ Murphy Brown
+ Wishbone
+ Are You Afraid of the Dark?
+ You know what? Make that all '90s era Nickelodeon, including Nick@Nite
+ M*A*S*H
Alright, Netflix. Time to get on that. I'm counting on you...and expecting full credit (and compensation) for all of these improvements. You're welcome.
Aaaaand now I'm off to watch Mad Men. Damn you, Netflix.
Disclaimer: Netflix did not approve this message. Also, I don't really want to be supreme ruler of anything. Can you imagine? Yikes.