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Monday, February 10, 2014

My Mind Drifts Like the Snow

Lake Michigan, supposedly.
Feb2014

My favorite line from The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, wasn't spoken but rather shown as written words onscreen. Walter writes in his journal, "my mind drifts like the snow." Those words so perfectly encapsulate the feelings of this season, both literally and figuratively. 

Some mornings I awake feeling as though I could conquer the world. I'm productive, check things off of my neverending to-do list, and I feel hopeful for what life holds. Other mornings, I wish that I could just hibernate with bottomless mugs of coffee and mountains of books. Sometimes, I just wish that I had a river to skate away on. (Thanks, Joni.)

Somehow, all of the things that make up my life get done: work, school, orchestra and quartet rehearsals, runs, meetings, maintaining relationships, the various minutia that is making dirty laundry clean and empty refrigerators full. If I think too deeply about all that needs to be accomplished, I feel overwhelmed. Sometimes, it's best not to dwell and to just keep moving. Always moving. 

Some days I just feel homesick, missing something that I can't quite identify. Longing for sunshine filtering through tree leaves and fields of weeds and wildflowers and creaky floorboards and waves and sun tea. Sometimes the tears fall without reason or prompt, and sometimes it hurts to breathe.  

Today, I'm feeling nostalgic for the past and daydreaming about the future while still trying to keep myself firmly grounded in the present. But still, my mind drifts like the snow.