Thursday, October 17, 2013


The Cowardly Lion

I've been giving some thought lately to fears: what they are, why we have them, and why we allow them to hold us back. 

I've struggled with being afraid of something or other for much of my life. Until recently, I would have said that I'd let the fear of failure hold me back. However, since throwing caution (and good sense) to the wind and quitting my job, I've started to feel an ounce of freedom from that fear. It's an exhilarating, and sometimes horrifying journey. 

While I'm doing all I can to leave my fear of failure behind me, I still have a laundry list of irrational (and generally hilarious) fears that I'm not sure I'll ever overcome. But hey, I'm not myself without a little neuroses. 

The first step is admitting you have a problem, right?

10 Irrational Fears That I Probably Shouldn't Admit on the Internet

::Frogs and toads.
Those little effers are all, "Oh, hey! Like at my natural camouflage? Now imma jump and scare the shit out of you! Thanks, bye!" NOPE. 

::Not being able to find a parking spot.
"Oh, nowhere to park? Guess I'll go home."

::Being in front of a group of people with my fly unzipped.
"As if I'm not awkward enough, allow me to direct your attention to my crotch region."

Because who knows what sea monsters/ghosts may be lurking.

::Seeing wild animals in places they don't belong.
"Don't mind me, I'm just a giraffe hanging out in a cornfield after dark." IT COULD HAPPEN, OK?

::My favorite TV shows being removed from Netflix. 
RIP Strangers with Candy.

::Being forced to go back to high school and take remedial math classes.
*reading a test* "Conjugate the following equation to the fourth power without using the Periodic Table. Divide by purple." WHAT.

::Finding mold in weird places.
"Let's make a sandwich! Wait, why does my bread have a face?"

::Performing a play that I haven't done in years. 
I still have stress dreams about Annie. I was 12.

::Wind turbines.
Energy source of the future, or alien mothership homing device? Mothership.

Hey! If you're still reading and not totally convinced that I'm not a crazy, foil-hat-wearing conspiracy theorist, tell me about your fears. What hilarious (or not-so hilarious) thing are you afraid of? How do you overcome them?


  1. Omg I could write a novel. I'm totally afraid of zombies, faces that are somehow distorted in some way, vultures, scary movies, peeing my pants, etc.

    1. My husband is terrified of zombies, yet still watches The Walking Dead religiously. I can't believe that I forgot to put vultures on this list--they're absolutely horrifying.

  2. Those wind turbine things are the scariest creation ever. I was driving to Indy one day and they had a stretch of them for about 10 miles. Only time I ever drove with my eyes closed.

    1. Have you ever driven by them at night? All you can see is a field of glowing red lights. It's horrifying.